My dad's youngest sister has had breast cancer three times, and her mom (Grandma Landeen) had breast cancer. So with that in mind I try to keep a pretty close eye on my boobs. I know their general size and shape and where all the usual lumps and bumps are. Suffice it to say, I know what my breast tissue is supposed to feel like, and this was definitely a not normal.
So what is the first thing you do when you find a lump in your breast? You google it, of course. Grandma Stutz, whose genetics are responsible for getting me into the "teeny-tiny-titty club" in High School, used to say "If I ever found a lump in my breast I'd treasure it!" So I guess that meant I officially had a "treasure chest." I did a lot of reading that day on reputable breast cancer awareness sites. Most of what I read was actually encouraging. I learned that lumps in the breast can have many causes including injury, hormones, thickening of breast tissue with age, blocked milk ducts, etc. And I learned that most lumps are not cancer. But I also knew that most people don't have the family history of breast cancer that I do. I decided to give it a couple of weeks and see if it was still there after my next menstrual cycle.
At the end of two weeks the lump was still there. I knew this because I had been checking daily - sometimes hourly - to see if it had somehow magically disappeared. It was time to take action. After confirming the presence of a "marble sized lump in the right breast just below the nipple at 7 o'clock," my doctor referred me to the Breast Care Center for a diagnostic exam. She told me that they would probably perform either a mammogram or an ultrasound to diagnose.
Two weeks later I found myself standing topless in a dark room while a technician attempted to wrangle my breast between the flat plates of the mammogram machine. And then again. And then again. And then the other side. And again. And again. And then a smaller plate to get an image of just the lump. Finally I was shown to a consultation room where, after a short wait, I was informed that the doctor had decided he wanted an untrasound, as well. Okay . . .
Following the ultrasound my mom (yay for moral support!) was invited into the room to join me. The doctor informed us that it was definitely a solid mass and congratulated me on finding it myself (uh . . . thanks? It's the size of a freaking marble! I'd be more surprised if I hadn't noticed it!). He said that it didn't look like cancer, but that they couldn't be certain without a biopsy. So off came my top again. This was seriously the most attention that my unmarried-mormon-girl boobs had ever gotten!
The biopsy was actually pretty cool. Once I was numbed up with Lidocaine I was able to watch what was happening on the ultrasound screen. A needle was inserted through my breast up to the edge of the mass and then a sampling tool (?) was guided through the needle. When the doctor pulled a trigger, a tiny hollow needle shot through the mass taking a core sample. He pulled the tool back out through the needle and put the sample into a specimen bag. He did this 3 times and then put a titanium marker in the lump so that (assuming the lump wasn't removed) it would show up on future mammograms as already cleared of suspicion. After another mammogram to record the presence of the titanium marker, the nurse gave me ice packs to keep the swelling down, and told me I would get results in 3-5 days.
The next 4 days were some of the longest of my life. Not only was I worried, I was also sore from being stabbed in the boob with a giant needle! But the following Tuesday afternoon I got a phone call from the Breast Care Center. The good news: there was no sign of cancer! (Hallefreakinlujah!) The bad news: they still didn't know what it was, but it had some "atypical cells" that were considered "high risk lesions" (pre-pre-cancer). They recommended that I have the mass removed as a precaution.
On November 6, 2018 I arrived at the Intermountain Medical Center surgery building. Even though it was outpatient surgery, it was going to be performed in the OR under anesthesia. I changed into a gown and let the nurse put an IV in my left arm and a blood pressure cuff on my right arm. Then I "relaxed" in my hospital bed until they were ready to start my surgery. They wheeled me upstairs and parked my bed in the hallway outside the OR where my nurses, anesthesiologist and surgeon all introduced themselves. They all asked me multiple times if there was any chance I could be pregnant (Ha!) and marveled that I was only 33 and having surgery to remove a potentially cancerous lump from my breast (Yep. Congratulations to me). My surgeon verified that the mass was indeed in my RIGHT breast (always good to double check) and he wrote the word "YES" in pen just below my right collarbone. And then a few minutes later I was wheeled into the OR.
I remember being surprised at how well lit the room was. (It wasn't like the mood lighting on Grey's Anatomy at all.) The anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask on my face while the nurses got me hooked up to lots of wires and tubes. I have no idea what they were doing, but my only job was to just lay there on the table and I performed it well. Finally I helped the surgeon locate the mass (yes, still in the right breast), and then the anesthesiologist told me to think of somewhere nice to dream about as he emptied a syringe into my IV bag.
 |
Today my inch-long incision site is almost completely healed, and probably won't even leave a scar. It has been a month (actually a couple months) of "Firsts." I had my first mammogram and my first ultrasound. I went under anesthesia for the first time. I had my first surgery. My breast felt the touch of a man (and also several women) for the first time (okay, so they were all doctors or medical professionals and it wasn't romantic or sexual at all. Here's hoping my future husband thinks about my breasts differently than my doctors did.). I flashed someone for the first time. (I had an impressive bruise and incision wound following surgery that I showed to my mom and sisters, which reminds me that I also sent my first nude snapchat to my sister in Washington!) I also bought my first house, but more on that later.
If you didn't know that any of this was going on in my life, don't be offended. As a general rule I am not in the habit of telling people about my boobs. (Or at least I wasn't in that habit before all this happened. Now I'll talk to anyone about them. Seriously. Ask me anything.) My breasts have never been anything to write home about, but after everything I've been through this month I don't mind so much. So in this season of giving thanks, I am thankful for my healthy, cancer-free boobs.
